The Amazing Adventures of Daddy-Man and Mom-Lady

As is the case with most super heroes, Daddy-Man and Mom-Lady didn’t KNOW when they were college kids falling in love what was in store for them. They planned to finish school, get married and start careers. But FATE had different plans for these two.  Soon after their home-spun wedding with friends and family, they were pulled into an ALTERNATE REALITY called PARENTHOOD.

While the college graduates were able to deduce the cause of this shift, they had NO IDEA  that their lives would take another unexpected turn into the WORLD OF SPECIAL NEEDS.  These changes would force the duo to call on ALL THE POWERS OF HEAVEN AND EARTH to harness the strength to MAINTAIN PEACE AND CALM in the face of UNIMAGINED CHALLENGES and disarmingly cute foes.

Over the last 18 years, our “normal parents” have developed SPECIAL ADAPTIVE POWERS to deal with their three primary bad guys, The Big Sister, Annoying Boy and Sir Sassy Pants.

At first glance, you may not perceive his power.  Aside from the impressive biceps, Daddy-Man is a normal-looking middle-aged social worker who spends his days in a school counseling kids with problems large and small, and his nights battling the FORCES OF EVIL.  He hides his intimidating muscles under JC Penney shirts, and his amazingly perceptive blue eyes behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses.

These eyes are able to see WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON, and this is just the beginning of his special abilities.  Daddy-Man is also able to FIX ANYTHING, and if he can’t, we didn’t really need it.  Our hero has NEAR-INFINITE PATIENCE, which is best exhibited when he is waylaid by Annoying Boy, a man-child bad guy who attacks Daddy-Man just as he comes in the door or sits down to eat.  Annoying Boy uses his PULLING PINCERS to injure Daddy-Man’s arms and shoulders, while making VERY LOUD, NON-SENSICAL NOISES.

When the Big Sister makes RIDICULOUS DEMANDS WHILE KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE, he counters the ASTOUNDING IMMATURITY of the enemy with his MIND-NUMBING LECTURES.

Then there is Sir Sassy Pants.  His most famous weapon is the IRRATIONAL ANGER BARRAGE.  All Daddy-Man has to do is walk into the room, and he gets pummeled with RED HOT ANGRY WORDS.  How does he win against the smallest but most difficult of foes?  He TAKES AWAY SCREEN PRIVELAGES, but mostly is frustrated by the fact that his little nemesis is TOO MUCH LIKE HIMSELF.

Because of his AMAZINGLY GENEROUS NATURE, Daddy-Man heroically deposits LARGE SUMS OF CASH into an account that pays for the care of NEEDY CRAZY PEOPLE who can’t provide for themselves.  When he is not working his day job or battling the TRIUMVERATE OF EVIL, Daddy-Man enjoys doing projects around the house, hiking and spending time with his faithful sidekick and co-Super Parent, Mom-Lady.

Unless you knew about the SUPER HERO UNDERPANTS, you might never suspect Mom-Lady is a.. well, superhero.  Mom-Lady daily GETS EVERYONE UP AND READY, a feat of herculean proportions.  She also washes MOUNTAINS OF LAUNDRY daily, because two local villains SUPER SOAK ATTACK their beds more nights than not.  Because she is a FRIEND OF THE ENVIRONMENT, Mom-Lady hangs the laundry on the clothesline.  She is able to SPELL ANY WORD at the most inconvenient times, and is the primary HOMEWORK HELPER, a task that could kill a normal person.

Wearing her PROTECTIVE APRON Mom-Lady is able to COOK MEALS, CLEAN BATHROOMS and DO LAUNDRY with nary a stain on her STYLISH CLOTHING.  Her amazing ADMINISTRATIVE POWERS  afford her the ability to SCHEDULE AND GO TO DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENTS, SCHOOL MEETINGS AND SPORTING EVENTS, and TRANSPORT PEOPLE TO THEIR ACTIVITES, while maintaining a POWERFULLY POSITIVE ATTITUDE  and PERFECT MAKEUP.

Mom-Lady breaks down the defenses of the most hardened criminals by making them COOKIES THEY CANNOT RESIST.  She boosts her own strength by GOING FOR A PEDICURE and HAVING LUNCH WITH A FRIEND.

Her most powerful super-human attribute is LOVE.  It turns bad guys and villains into misunderstood people who need their backs rubbed and to play a game of Monopoly.  LOVE keeps our heroes in the line of fire.  It is what makes them who they are:  regular people making our crazy world a better place.

Joy Hayes

About Joy Hayes

I am a married full-time mother of three children, 12-18 years old. Each of my kids has a learning/developmental disability or autism. I have a "side-ways" sense of humor, which comes from a lifetime of caring for special people. I love to learn and live to read and write, therefore I am the best student I have had the pleasure to work with.